Shady Start

Bar fights, Suspensions and Cup cakes- It’s a shady start, but college football is only days away!

LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and other teammate, Joshua Johns have been suspended indefinitely by the school for their “alleged” poundings outside of Shady’s Bar in Baton Rouge two weeks ago. Both players turned themselves in after police arrest warrants on felony charges of second-degree battery. Four people were injured during the brawl. With these suspensions- there goes a chance for a Championship banner for the Tigers.

Good luck Jarrett Lee on your season opener against Oregon. But don’t worry, the Duck’s All-America corner Cliff Harris of Oregon is suspended along with middle linebacker, Kiko Alonso. Harris will be on the sideline for his 118 mile-per-hour speeding ticket, driving with a suspended license and for his string of unpaid traffic violations. (He must be facebook friends with Terrelle Pryor.) Alonso is still hung-over from a night of partying and tying to remember where he lived. (See story) HA- college, I do miss you. http://espn.go.com/blog/pac12/post/_/id/21288/oregon-suspends-alonso

Virginia Tech’s schedule… what a joke! Is Frank Beamer a pastry chef? Because he just made one cup cake of a schedule! Appalachian State, East Carolina, Arkansas State and Marshall sum up the first half of the season. No Maryland, No NC State and No Florida State (the only other ACC team ranked in the top 25)! SEC school’s have intramural teams with schedules more difficult than the Jokies in Blacksburg.

Brace yourself for the Tech fans; they are almost as annoying as Ohio State fans. With Tech’s schedule, they should have a pretty good record (I’m going to be sick). Too bad these dumb birds haven’t learned that to get an invite to the NCAA dance or to play in a BCS Championship game, you have to play the BEST teams.

Even with the all the not-so-good headlines, college football is back and Saturday’s now have a purpose again. GO VOLS!

Running and Chomping

Two weeks until kick off and I’m already calling an audible.

Roger Goodell should have sent a direct message and declared Terrelle Pryor ineligible for the supplemental draft. Instead, Goodell suspended Pryor from the first five games of the NFL season- the same suspension he would have received if he was still in the huddle with a bunch of nuts. Mr. Goodell, can a player be punished for being a D-bag under the personal conduct code? Just hearing the name “Terrelle Pryor” makes me want to throw-up. At least Ohio State learned from that salty nut and banned Pryor from all contact with the university's athletic program and new incoming recruits for the next five years.

This kid is just running from the rules (not that I agree with all the rules he broke) but what standard are you setting for all those kids in college now who are just “living the dream” of being a campus football star and then BOOM the NCAA suspends them (after the bowl game) and they too will chuck the deuce up and come running to the NFL. Mr. Goodell, you just paved the road for a bunch of NCAA delinquent’s to take their suspensions to the NFL.

Looks like the U will be newest NFL team in Miami.

I do have one important question for the Redskins Special Team Coordinator, Danny Smith- What kind of gum are you chomping on? There’s not a camera shot of him without a full pack of gum stuffed into his mouth. The wad of gum might even be bigger than the most exciting player in burgundy- 5’7 punt return specialist; Brandon Banks.

As long as Smith is chomping and Banks is running, I’ll be yelling- Hail Yeah!

Deer Antler Spray?

When talking about professional sports, “Deer Antler Spray” sounds like a game plan to defeat the Texas Rangers’ “claw and antler” marketing phenomenon.

Deer antler spray is actually the latest performance-enhancing substance containing IGF-1 and one of it’s proteins that is increased in human growth hormone (HGH) which aids in a faster recovery.

I just don’t believe the hype of steroids in professional sports. Sure, they can make you look like a gorilla juice head and you increase your chances of hooking up with Snookie and JWOW on the Jersey Shore, but steroids can not make you a better athlete.

What about the integrity of the game? The integrity of the game was distorted in 1994when baseball canceled the playoffs and World Series because the owners were solely focused on money and never discussed the Drug and Steroid Memorandum topic during the negotiations.

This new “spray” is actually made from the soft-coating found deer antlers. After it is freeze-dried, its ground into a powder that can be taken as a pill, mixed into a liquid or as a mouth spray. The spray is featured S.W.A.T.S. (Sports With Alternatives To Steroids) website where professional athletes have endorsed the product. IGF-1 is banned by MLB and all professional sports- I guess “Alternatives” really means “catch me if you can”. This clear substance can only be traced in a blood test and MLB only uses urine testing.

Today its “Deer Antler Spray”; next month it will be shark’s fins. Soon, Flintstone vitamins will be added to the list of banned substances. The truth is that there is no magic spray for athleticism and God given talent to play ball. And if this “spray” means that Stephen Strasburg would get off the DL faster and back in my fantasy line up then I’ll send him a bottle of deer antler spray myself.

Last week, the NFL became the first major US sport allowed to use blood testing for HGH. Goodell hopes the testing will begin by opening day, but the game plan for who will be tested and when both remain unknown. Baltimore Ravens linebacker, Ray Lewis was listed as an endorser on the S.W.A.T.S site until the blood testing news broke. I haven’t been able to find punishment for being caught with a positive HGH blood test, but if Ray Lewis isn’t allowed to run through the tunnel at M&T Bank Stadium the fans are ones who will be punished.